002 Inner Stories - Nurture

Yesterday I shared my vision for a new project I am working on, a whole new life adventure and direction. I have been sitting on the idea for a few weeks now and probably a few years sub consciously but after some very honest questions and answers with myself this particular path was shown to me.

I have been in a place of flow state with it, allowing all these ideas and concepts to flow through. Getting inspired to create again! It’s been utter bliss for someone with a creative mind. Though there was this inner voice telling me to hold on to this just for myself for a little while longer. When i unpacked the reasoning as to why I realised I was fearful of the response and reaction from others.

Unplanned though I did share my idea yesterday, I actually ended up sharing it with three separate people and it was met with absolute love and celebration! To receive that validation or recognition for this truly felt wonderful. It felt like love and support in its truest of forms.

It’s not that I believe we can only follow our hearts or passions when we receive the go ahead from another, far from it. I know that if something truly feels aligned with our souls and hearts then we should go full force at turning it from an idea into life, no matter how many no’s or knock downs we may receive.

However, what I learnt today is how important it is to surround ourselves with people who want us to succeed! Who are cheering us on from the sidelines whether they believe in our vision or even understand it. The people we call, friends and family should be our life cheerleaders. This doesn’t mean they are simply “yes” folk that help feed the ego, maybe they can offer advice on potential pitfalls we don’t see and how we can overcome them, offering guidance but ultimately having people who believe we have the ability to overcome any hurdles.

I am so grateful to have people in my life that show up in this way, who offer guidance, who ask if they can help or contribute in any way. To feel like my passion and any success I hold is shared through joy with them. A collaboration of existence.

I write this because I have experienced the opposite of this before and this is probably why I have been so hesitant to share my current life path with others. In the past I have tales of sharing a vision or project with someone who wasn’t my biggest cheerleader. I remember once calling them and sharing news of something I was working on, I was like a little child, so excited to express what is lighting up my world! I wanted to revel and celebrate with them in this energy, however the response I received was far from what I needed or expected.

I was met with the right language, “well done” “I’m happy for you” etc etc but sometimes language and words are not enough. Not when the tone and energy is missing and the conversation quickly switching to something else. I knew instantly that this person wasn’t there to honour and celebrate me, they weren’t there to build me up on days I succumbed to pressure, it felt like they were there to keep me small to help them feel big. I realised that there are some people in this world who do not like it when your authenticity is louder than their facade.

It felt like the equivalent of being a child at school where one day you received a house point and couldn’t wait to run home and tell a parent but all you were met with was a brief “well done” or head nod before the conversation was switched over to something new.

I think when we experience this whether we are a 7 year old child or 30 year old adult, not only does it hurt but it’s makes us revert back into our shells. A place of safety where we can’t be hurt, which makes sense at the time but this then also turns into a place where we stay hidden and ultimately can never be celebrated either. This treatment and trauma makes us believe that we should be quiet, small and needless. We are not allowed to shine or even believe we could grow and succeed in something.

This works both ways also, I hope the people in my life know I am a person they can come to to share their goals, dreams and ideas! I hope they know that I am a place for them to be celebrated, supported and loved. I hope you are this place for your loved ones and that you have this in return.

We all deserve this.

If that isn’t the case though, I want you to know that someone else’s lack of warmth is a projection of their own inner blocks and low self worth. They believe that what they may feel is impossible for them to achieve should also be impossible for you, and if they can’t reach their dreams then neither should you. None of this if your truth. This is not your story.

When we get used to this sort of treatment and abuse we start to believe it, we stop putting ourselves out there, we stop sharing our thoughts our ideas and we begin to lose our identity. Over time of experiencing this even in micro doses we will no longer recognise the person staring back at us in the mirror. We become an empty shell, roaming around like a robot, existing but absolutely not living.

This world is big enough for us all to succeed whatever that means or looks like to an individual. Life is too short and precious to be around anyone that wants to plant a seed of doubt within you that stops you from blooming and taking up space. Space that they believe may be for them, or if you were to grow into a beautiful old wise oak tree and they were to stay forever in bud from you would grow away from them.

Roots run deep, they are all interconnected, they all blend to make an underground network of togetherness. They take turns to bloom in different seasons without judging what is or isn’t growing beside them. They simply trust when it is their time. We as humans should be no different.

That is why it is so important especially for anyone recovering from trauma or abuse to have people in their lives who show up fully in this way to help remind them of how special and needed they are. To help turn that light back on within, to allow life and creativity to flow through their veins once more.

Celebrate the ones you love, heck celebrate strangers! Make sure that you have your own network of support and your own life cheerleaders!  Life is too damn short to pick up the phone and be met with a mediocre “well done”, not when you are birthing something from our heart and soul. If you are ever met with a lack lustre response after sharing something meaningful to you, know that the courage it takes to step away from what’s not serving you anymore is the same courage that will guide you to find what truly is.

Olivia x